1st dec.

I always believe that smiling can save me from all those troubles.
but hmmm. i just realised it can only make me feel better.
but its not helping others.
maybe i should think of other ways.
i think i should talk.
but..
oh well.
we'll see how.(:

is it because of me??
i hope not.

band today.
it was fine.
joan was pretty funny.
that was this part mr ong asked us to play 2 bars before...
Me: (letter) O
Mr Ong: O
so practically i already knew mr ong gonna say o.
and then he said retard.
OH PLEASE HE MEANT RETARDANDO!
and joan was like,"Ha, he say you retard."

the innocent me took it for real until yuhui told me that he meant retardando.
STUPID!
*hit my head*

i am still deciding whether i should go band on the 29th.
cos i am coming back on that day.
and dunno if i can make it.
i will be dead tired.

i am waiting for next year to come.
not looking forward to sec 2 life.
but to my little red ones.
oh i meant juniors.
yes, i guess i will be super uber friendly to them.
repaying it to my seniors for treating me nicely too.
I AM GONNA BE A SENIOR.
perhaps a lousy one but STILL A SENIOR.
OLDER THAN THEM!
WAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
SO EXCITED!!!!
i hope they can blend well with us la.
and i hope next year we can be closer to the greens and whites and reds.
dont later greens whites and red can mix but the greys are like..
NOT INSIDE THE BLENDING THING.

and i hate myself for always saying the wrong thing.
always regretting only after i say it.
DAMN ME.
I AM SINCERELY SAYING I AM SORRY HERE.
i realised maybe because of my words might make you dislikes me???
I HOPE NOT THOUGH.

OK. I SHALL END IT OFF HERE..
GOSH. 18 DAYS.
18 DAYS TO HAI LUO GOU, CHINA.
IT'S GONNA BE SO FREAKING COLD!!!
SNOWING.
WHITE CHRISTMAS.
HERE I COME!!
HO HO HO!
;D

Jiayi